Being bisexual, or attracted to more than one gender, is a valid and awesome identity. However, bisexual people often face stereotypes that can make them feel like they don’t quite fit in, either in the straight world or even within the LGBTQIA+ community. These harmful myths are not only untrue but can also be incredibly hurtful.
Here’s a closer look at seven common myths about bisexuality and the real truth behind them.
Myth 1: Being bi is just a phase or a stepping stone.
The Reality: Bisexuality isn’t a temporary stop on the way to being gay or a phase you’ll “grow out of” as you get older. For many, it’s a stable and lasting identity. While it’s completely okay for a person’s identity to change over time, bisexuality is a whole and complete sexuality in itself—not a halfway point between straight and gay.
Myth 2: You’re just confused.
The Reality: The idea that a person is “confused” because they’re attracted to multiple genders is a classic myth. Bisexuality is about a capacity for attraction, not confusion. The truth is, people of all orientations can feel confused about their romantic and sexual feelings at times. That doesn’t make their sexuality any less real.
Myth 3: You have to have a partner of a specific gender to be bi.
The Reality: Your bisexuality doesn’t disappear just because you’re in a relationship. If you’re a woman dating a man, you don’t suddenly become straight. Your attraction to other genders is still a part of who you are, regardless of your current partner. Sexuality is about who you’re attracted to, not who you’re with.
Myth 4: You’re more likely to cheat.
The Reality: Cheating isn’t tied to a person’s sexual orientation; it’s a choice and a matter of ethics. The stereotype that bisexual people are more likely to cheat because they have a “wider pool” of people to be attracted to is not only false but also deeply offensive. A person’s capacity for attraction doesn’t mean they’re unable to be committed or faithful in a monogamous relationship.
Myth 5: You’re not bi if you’ve only been with people of one gender.
The Reality: Experience doesn’t define your sexuality. Attraction is the key factor. You can identify as bisexual or pansexual even if you’ve only ever been in relationships with people of one gender. Your feelings of attraction are what matter, not your past history.
Myth 6: Bisexuals have to “choose” a side eventually.
The Reality: This myth is based on the false idea that bisexuality is unsustainable. Bisexual people don’t have to “pick a team” or settle down with a partner of only one gender to validate their identity. Older bisexual people exist and prove that bisexuality is a lifelong identity for many.
Myth 7: You don’t belong in the LGBTQIA+ community.
The Reality: Bisexual people are an important and integral part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Bi-erasure, or the tendency to ignore and invalidate bisexuality, can make some feel like they don’t belong, especially if they’re in a relationship with someone of a different gender and feel “too straight.” But that’s not true. Bisexual people have always been a part of the queer community, and you deserve to take up space and be celebrated within it.
BISEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK: 16-23 September
Also known as #BiWeek, is an annual celebration and extension of Celebrate Bisexuality Day. The celebration promotes cultural acceptance of the bisexual community, as well as attempts to create a platform for advocating bisexual rights.
CELEBRATE BISEXUALITY DAY: 23 September
Observed annually to recognise and celebrate bisexual people, the bisexual community, and the history of bisexuality.
